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Satire

Video shows Justin Bieber using three syllable word


Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber

Yet another shocking video of Justin Bieber has surfaced, this one purportedly showing the young star using what appears to be a three-syllable word in a complete sentence.

“It’s somewhat difficult to decipher between the swears and racial slurs, but it sounds like he might have said the word travesty,” said Harvard Linguistics Professor Murray Engelmann. “Of course, the jury’s still out whether he actually knows what that means.”

The latest find marks a drastic shift from the belief that the Canadian singer was only capable of producing sentence fragments comprised mostly of mono-syllabic words with the primary intent of insulting another ethnic group or minority.

“I still say someone fed him that word,” said TMZ‘s Harvey Levin, whose site originally posted the video. “There’s no way he comes up with that on his own.”

Bieber’s fans continue to rail against TMZ, saying that the Hollywood gossip site is merely out to get their idol, whom they claim uses three- and sometimes even four-syllable words when he’s off camera and being a good citizen by using a urinal instead of a mop bucket.

“No, motherfucker is a compound word – that doesn’t count,” pointed out Engelmann. “And KKK is an acronym that replaces three single-syllable words. No dice.”

Meanwhile, Bieber has offered an official apology for his past transgressions, which critics say ranks a two on a scale of one to Jonah Hill.

We would like to point out that we chose the word transgressions in writing this article as a replacement for the actual phrase used by Justin Bieber: “stuff I did.”

We by no means intend to portray an intelligence level higher than what actually exists and apologise for any confusion.

Source: CAP News – Video Surfaces Showing Justin Bieber Using Three Syllable Word (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

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