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Satire

Babies celebrate as experts urge parents to read aloud to kids, starting at birth


"I'm sick of Mickey Mouse. I'm ready for Aristotle."

“I’m sick of Mickey Mouse. I’m ready for Aristotle.”

“Yippee!” said one bookseller when she heard the news. She continued,”This is our big chance to dump our inventory of kids’ books.”

Giving a thumbs-up sign to an assistant, she said, “Get all the junk onto the selling floor and prepare to sell, sell, sell!”

Couples who really want to jump the gun are reportedly planning IN UTERO reading sessions.

“You can never start too early,” said one mom-to-be, adding, “On the way home from the doctor’s office after finding out I was pregnant, I stopped at a bookstore and bought a stack of books from the Children’s Section.”

She says she’s planning early for the kid’s admission to Harvard or Princeton in the hope that the little genius will ultimately provide parental support for life.

Ha! Talk about fantasy tales…..

*********
Breaking News: This just in from Kelly Clarkson‘s baby, River Rose. She’s issued a press release, telling the world she’d rather be SUNG to than READ to. So there!

Source: The Spoof – Pediatricians Urge Parents to Read Aloud to Kids, Starting at Birth (Satire)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

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