//
you're reading...
Satire

Britney Spears concedes white trash title to Miley Cyrus


Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus

Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus

Following an appearance at the MTV Europe Music Awards where she smoked a joint on stage while accepting an award, Miley Cyrus has officially taken the reigns as the country’s top white trash celebrity.

“I feel like I’m the biggest white trash in the world because ain’t nobody dumb enough to do the shit I do,” Miley said as she snapped her record 200th selfie of the day. “Haters gonna be hatin’, yo, especially when they all be gettin’ their hate on.”

Previous title holder Britney Spears formally conceded the honor to Cyrus at a small ceremony during which the 20-year-old singer was correctly able to ascertain both wind direction and velocity just by sticking her tongue out.

“If you watch reality TV these days, you’ll see there’s quite a bit of white trash talent out there,” said CAP News TV critic Marc Price. “But it takes a special kind of trash to even cool the loins of pedophiles.”

For his part, father Billy Ray Cyrus says he couldn’t be more proud of his daughter for breaking out of the suffocating shell of a young woman stuck being a role model for little girls.

“Dangflabit, I only had one hit so I need her to ride that 12-year-old body wherever it takes her,” Billy Ray told CAP News. “And if she can turn some 8-year-old Hannah Montana fan into a pole dancin’ teenager who helps support her parents, then goldangitydoodle, we’ve done our job!”

Some critics say Miley hasn’t yet achieved enough for white trash superstardom, pointing to Spears’ many exploits both before and after giving birth to her child as an indication she still has a long way to go.

“Bodiggityrogsnobit, we are working on that!” Billy Ray said. “We’ve got a plan to get her knocked up just in time to pop a baby out right there on stage during next year’s VMA’s. Hoodiddlyflappersnickle!”

Meanwhile, singer Robin Thicke has reportedly cleared his calendar for the next nine months and said he’s more than happy to lend his talents to any of Miley’s upcoming projects.

Source: CAP News – Britney Spears Concedes White Trash Title To Miley (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “Britney Spears concedes white trash title to Miley Cyrus

  1. Ha ha… I think this is actually true. 🙂

    Posted by swabby429 | June 6, 2014, 08:04
  2. Giving birth on stage does sound entirely plausible.
    ‘Dangflabit if it’s a boy, and Hoodiddlyflappersnickle if it’s a girl.’

    Posted by Gregoryno6 | June 24, 2014, 09:18

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: Dozens of British celebrities implicated in talent avoidance schemes | Craig Hill Training Services - July 15, 2014

Leave a Reply to Gregoryno6 Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

If you liked what you just read, click "Subscribe" to become a follower of the Craig Hill site. You will receive an email each time a new post is published.

Join 17,663 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

Most Recent Posts Post on My Blog About China: China News

Chinese drones now almost a daily appearance over Taiwan

Chinese drones now almost a daily appearance over Taiwan

The Chinese military has intensified its drone incursions into the skies above Taiwan with almost daily flights of combat and reconnaissance unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs). Taiwan’s Defense Ministry said a People’s Liberation Army (PLA) TB-001 drone was spotted crossing the median line of the Taiwan Strait, the de facto boundary between the island and China’s […]

India says disengagement along disputed area with China to be completed by September 12

India says disengagement along disputed area with China to be completed by September 12

India’s foreign ministry said on Friday that disengagement along a disputed border area with China will be completed by Sept. 12. Both countries began disengaging from the Gogra-Hot Springs border area in the western Himalayas on Thursday, over two years after clashes at the frontier strained diplomatic ties. The disengagement comes ahead of a meeting […]

How to make EVs without China’s supply chain

How to make EVs without China’s supply chain

Two electrifying moves in recent weeks have the potential to ignite electric vehicle demand in the United States. First, Congress passed the Inflation Reduction Act, expanding federal tax rebates for EV purchases. Then California approved rules to ban the sale of new gasoline-powered cars by 2035. The Inflation Reduction Act extends the Obama-era EV tax […]

Anti-India forces: Techniques and agendas exposed

Anti-India forces: Techniques and agendas exposed

In the post-cold war era, India has moved from a policy of non-alignment to a policy of multi-alignment. This means that India has friendly relations with almost all-powerful and developing nations. Today India is carving out a unique path for itself. Such an approach provides prominence and exposes India to the harmful behind-curtain activities by […]

Taiwan’s Kinmen serves as a reminder of China’s aggression

Taiwan’s Kinmen serves as a reminder of China’s aggression

Taiwan’s frontline island of Kinmen was once again in the headlines when President Tsai Ing-wen paid tribute this week to the soldiers and civilians who “operated in solidarity and safeguarded Taiwan” 64 years ago. On Aug. 23, 1958 mainland Chinese troops attacked Kinmen in a key battle that marked the beginning of the Second Taiwan […]

Terrorism: The glue that holds China and Pakistan together 

Terrorism: The glue that holds China and Pakistan together 

The father of communism, Karl Marx, once famously said — “We have no compassion, and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror”. This statement summarises how terrorism and communism go hand in hand. Maoist China alone destroyed between 44.5 to 72 million lives. During […]

‘New normal’ across the Taiwan Strait as China threat looms ever closer

‘New normal’ across the Taiwan Strait as China threat looms ever closer

China is attempting to establish a “new normal” across the Taiwan Strait, eroding self-ruled Taiwan’s territorial control and increasing the threat of a strike with each military sortie, officials and analysts say. Beijing has ramped up military maneuvers in the 110-mile (180-kilometer) wide stretch of water that separates Taiwan from mainland China — and the […]

When Beijing was burning, Xi was playing personal games 

When Beijing was burning, Xi was playing personal games 

A great fire destroyed Rome for six days in the summer of AD 64. Famous Roman historian of that time, Tacitus, recorded that 70 percent of the city was destroyed and half of the city’s residents were displaced. Roman ruler Nero was accused of being indifferent, ineffective, and careless. The end result of this neglect […]

China would re-educate Taiwan in event of reunification

China would re-educate Taiwan in event of reunification

Once China achieves its professed goal of establishing control over Taiwan, a process of “re-education” of the island’s population would follow, according to China’s Ambassador to France Lu Shaye. The ambassador was speaking on French television channel BFM TV on Wednesday night, when he said a majority of the Taiwanese population actually wanted to be […]

Sri Lanka’s economic crisis is a political sabotage

Sri Lanka’s economic crisis is a political sabotage

Sri Lanka’s present state confirms the famous statement: “Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.” Sri Lankans have been repeating the mistakes of choosing the politicians Rajapaksas again and again. It is confirmed that there were unaccounted payments that the Chinese were liberal with during project negotiations with the island nation. They were paid […]

%d bloggers like this: