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Satire

Dozens of British celebrities implicated in talent avoidance schemes


Why wasn't the public told sooner?

Why wasn’t the public told sooner?

George Michael, Katie Melua and Gary Barlow are among a list of entertainers involved in massive talent avoidance schemes – all completely within the bounds of the law, according to a leaked report.

Other serial talent dodgers in the report include reality TV contestants, comedy panellists and newspaper columnists, all sheltered by schemes devised to make it look like they are providing more entertainment than they actually are.

The report suggests that while Katie Melua made millions from bicycle-themed songs, her talent contribution was in fact far less than expected. The anonymous source of the leak said: ‘The massively talented Melua successfully hid what she could do from the public for over a decade, evading increasing demands for appropriate levels of entertainment at every turn.’ Lawyers for the singer have responded to the report, saying she had invested her talent in other areas, such as self-promotion and chat shows, resulting in her actually giving ‘more than her fair share’.

Many performers named in the report, such as George Michael, made most of their money in the 1980′s when the top rate of talent was excessively low. These artists have since moved overseas to ‘talent havens’ where talent levels are negligible, in order to avoid high expectations at home.

The Club Tropicana singer expressed in an interview that he would gladly contribute 50 or even 60 percent to a performance in the future, though ‘no higher’.

Source: News Biscuit – Dozens of British celebrities implicated in talent avoidance schemes (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

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