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Britney Spears concedes white trash title to Miley Cyrus


Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus

Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus

Following an appearance at the MTV Europe Music Awards where she smoked a joint on stage while accepting an award, Miley Cyrus has officially taken the reigns as the country’s top white trash celebrity.

“I feel like I’m the biggest white trash in the world because ain’t nobody dumb enough to do the shit I do,” Miley said as she snapped her record 200th selfie of the day. “Haters gonna be hatin’, yo, especially when they all be gettin’ their hate on.”

Previous title holder Britney Spears formally conceded the honor to Cyrus at a small ceremony during which the 20-year-old singer was correctly able to ascertain both wind direction and velocity just by sticking her tongue out.

“If you watch reality TV these days, you’ll see there’s quite a bit of white trash talent out there,” said CAP News TV critic Marc Price. “But it takes a special kind of trash to even cool the loins of pedophiles.”

For his part, father Billy Ray Cyrus says he couldn’t be more proud of his daughter for breaking out of the suffocating shell of a young woman stuck being a role model for little girls.

“Dangflabit, I only had one hit so I need her to ride that 12-year-old body wherever it takes her,” Billy Ray told CAP News. “And if she can turn some 8-year-old Hannah Montana fan into a pole dancin’ teenager who helps support her parents, then goldangitydoodle, we’ve done our job!”

Some critics say Miley hasn’t yet achieved enough for white trash superstardom, pointing to Spears’ many exploits both before and after giving birth to her child as an indication she still has a long way to go.

“Bodiggityrogsnobit, we are working on that!” Billy Ray said. “We’ve got a plan to get her knocked up just in time to pop a baby out right there on stage during next year’s VMA’s. Hoodiddlyflappersnickle!”

Meanwhile, singer Robin Thicke has reportedly cleared his calendar for the next nine months and said he’s more than happy to lend his talents to any of Miley’s upcoming projects.

Source: CAP News – Britney Spears Concedes White Trash Title To Miley (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “Britney Spears concedes white trash title to Miley Cyrus

  1. Ha ha… I think this is actually true. 🙂

    Posted by swabby429 | June 6, 2014, 08:04
  2. Giving birth on stage does sound entirely plausible.
    ‘Dangflabit if it’s a boy, and Hoodiddlyflappersnickle if it’s a girl.’

    Posted by Gregoryno6 | June 24, 2014, 09:18

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