you're reading...

‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians

‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan

‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan

In a controversial ruling, no-nonsense cop ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan walked free from a federal court yesterday after a jury acquitted him of the ‘targeted hits’ of lowlife, good-for-nothing punks.

The hard-bitten San Francisco detective was charged after it emerged that some of his victims may have been unarmed when he blew them away. Among the most serious allegations were that he failed to follow proper procedures when apprehending criminals, merely asking them whether they ‘felt lucky’ prior to pumping them full of lead.

Particular scrutiny has fallen on Callahan’s assassination of ‘Scorpio’, a sadistic serial killer who was also a bit racist.  Footage available in both DVD and Blu-Ray formats reveals that Scorpio’s shotgun was several inches away from his right hand when Callahan fired off several rounds into his abdomen.  Over half a billion witnesses have since testified that the killer was indeed unarmed when shot by Callahan, although he was obviously a ‘nasty bastard’.

In his defence, Callahan’s lawyers maintained that in all the confusion their client ‘kinda lost track of himself’ and couldn’t be sure whether his .44 Magnum was loaded.  Although later under oath, ‘Dirty’ admitted that his gun was brand spanking new and that he had a ‘seriously itchy finger’.

‘Having identified Scorpio as a bad man and feeling rather threatened, Callahan did what any normal trigger-happy cop would have done under the circumstances’, said Jim Walters of the Independent Police Complaints Commission.  ‘Scorpio was a mad bastard. You only have to look at his Facebook page.’

Last night Callahan held out an olive branch to those affected by his indiscriminate slaughter and agreed to meet briefly with his victims’ families, including Scorpio’s mother who ‘ain’t nothin’ but a goddamn two-bit whore’.

‘My Scorpy never stood a chance,’ sobbed Scorpio’s mother outside the San Francisco High Court.  ‘The .44 Magnum, as everyone knows, is the most powerful handgun in the world.’

Source: News Biscuit – ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians (SATIRE)

About Craig Hill

General Manager at Craig Hill Training Services * Get an Australian diploma by studying in your own country * Get an Australian diploma using your overseas study and work experience * Diplomas can be used for work or study in Australia and other countries. * For more information go to www.craighill.net


One thought on “‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians

  1. Internal Affairs would have a field day with this guy lol..

    Posted by kgbethlehem | January 27, 2014, 16:33

Leave a Reply to kgbethlehem Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


Join 1,696 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

I also have a news site about China:

%d bloggers like this: