Tony Blair just won’t go away

Just open an antiques shop or something

Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair is stubbornly refusing to let Britain move on.

The grin-based organism has been asked to stop saying things in the press, which reminds Britain that it voted for him three times.

Teacher Emma Bradford said: “When Kim Kardashian came along, Paris Hilton had the self-awareness to recognise that her time as the world’s go-to media whore was over.

“If only Tony Blair had that much dignity and sense of the public mood.

“Look at Gordon Brown. Awful prime minister, but as an ex he knows to keep his chin-jerking face out of sight until we’re ready to be nostalgic.”

90s PM John Major said: “After years of exile, I managed to make a little bit of a comeback by moving into comedy when I revealed my affair with Edwina Currie.

“Now I make a decent living DJing in provincial nightclubs, filling the cultural void left when Danny Dyer joined Eastenders.”

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