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Satire

Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American


US China Boxing Gloves

US China Boxing Gloves

Cuts to Britain’s armed forces mean the country will be ‘left on the sidelines’ when America invades China.

Robert Gates, former US defence secretary, stressed that Britain would no longer be America’s ‘full crazy partner in war’.

He said: “Your military will be dropping food from its only helicopter while the US Marines are surging towards Shanghai for reasons that will never be fully explained.

“The war with China will be one of the craziest ever fought. You’re going to miss out on something completely mental.”

But UK defence secretary Philip Hammond insisted the cuts would make the armed forces more efficient at a wide range of utterly stupid and pointless things.

He added: “When America invades China Britain will be there with the helicopter, Tank 1 and Tank 2 and, of course, HMS Ship.

“Britain will not stand idly by while China tries to steal some tiny islands from Japan. Or is it the other way around? Or is it Taiwan?

“Actually, don’t tell me. It’s better when I have absolutely no idea.”

Source: The Daily Mash – Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

4 thoughts on “Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American

  1. Oh man. That humor is way down under. Oh, man. That is funny, but it hurts at the same time, since I am American.

    Posted by Brenda | January 17, 2014, 14:19
  2. Absolutely love the headline 🙂

    Posted by Priyanka | January 17, 2014, 19:06

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