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Al Gore and Pope spar over origins of the Internet


Pope Francis tries to explain what he meant but Al Gore is having none of it

Pope Francis tries to explain what he meant but Al Gore is having none of it

Former Vice President Al Gore had some choice words for Pope Francis this week following the pontiff’s assertion that the Internet is a “gift from God,” saying that the Creator in which we’re all endowed had little to do with its development.

“Now, I love Pope Francis with his flowy robes and his pointy hat, but the Internet did not just fall from the sky like some ten commandments,” Gore told reporters during a session at the World Economic Forum. “I worked tirelessly for years to get that puppy up and running and will not led God take all the credit.”

The erstwhile presidential candidate further defined what he described as “the separation between God and Gore,” pointing out things for which God is given credit but he says are actually thanks to humans themselves – like hitting the lottery, sports victories and Fridays.

“Let’s give credit where credit is due: we’ll take the Internet, and God can have global warming,” Gore noted. “The polar vortex, the California drought, an ozone layer that takes so damn long to rebuild itself – that’s all God.

“God creates the problems, and man invents the solutions,” he added. “Not the other way around.”

The Pope’s statement came on the heels of the creation of his very own Instagram account, to which he posted half a dozen selfies and a picture of his cat on the first day. He followed that up by photobombing no fewer than a dozen tourist pictures at the Basilica.

“In his defense, the Pope thinks everything good comes from God,” said CAP News religious expert Don Novello. “Conversely, he recently held an exorcism at a local Billa supermarket to cast the demons out of the price scanner because it kept ringing in his Ramen noodles incorrectly.

“As Lot once said, you gotta take these things with a grain of salt,” Novello added. “Or a pillar, as it were.”

Meanwhile, Vatican officials have announced that Pope Francis will be live tweeting his next Mass for “Catholics on the go” and will begin accepting Bitcoins for the needy.

Source: CAP News – Al Gore, Pope Spar Over Origins Of The Internet (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

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