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Satire

Man detained for blindly following traffic rules in Delhi, India


A high alert has been sounded by the Delhi Traffic Police after this incident shocked the department

A high alert has been sounded by the Delhi Traffic Police after this incident shocked the department

An unidentified 40-year-old male has been detained by Delhi police for suspicious behaviour after he was caught following all the traffic rules on the road in the national capital. This is the rarest of the rare behaviours witnessed on Delhi roads, authorities confirm.

Addressing a press conference,  traffic inspector Mr. Hafta Ram gave a detailed account of how the “suspect” was nabbed: “I was driving home after duty in my civilian clothes when I saw this car performing strange antics on the road. The driver was driving in a proper lane, he was giving indicator while turning and as well as while changing lanes, and surprisingly he gave correct indication each time!

“Not only this, whenever the traffic lights turned red, he stopped at the faded zebra crossings to let the pedestrians, who were already crossing the road even when the traffic light was green, cross the road. And to top it all, he was well within the speed limit even on an empty stretch of road,” he added.

Hafta Ram claimed that such behaviour was highly uncommon in Delhi so he stopped the “suspect” for questioning. Even though Hafta was in civilian clothes and demanded to check the papers, the “suspect” didn’t make any phone call to anybody.

“He didn’t even mention about his father, or about his mother-in-law, not even once!” a visibly shocked Hafta Ram recounted the vivid details to the reporters, “At this point, I got suspicious that this guy must have something to hide, and detained him to investigate this matter further.”

While police are still interrogating the “offender,” sources confirm that the department was more concerned about the “offence” than the “offender.”

A constable, on the condition of anonymity, told reporters: “What will happen to us if everyone starts following traffic rules? I will have to start withdrawing money from my salary account after all these years to pay for my expenses!”

While the common man was desperate to find out who among them had become so uncommon, political parties, desperate to get away from the daily dose of scams, have jumped on this opportunity to take the common man’s attention away from corruption.

Congress General Secretary, Mr. Rahul Gandhi said, “99% of the people are still breaking traffic rules, 1% have somehow learned them. We blame internet for it as we have ensured nobody in India teaches traffic rules properly to people, so they must have learned them through some website. I will request Sibal ji to block some more websites to sort out this problem.”

BJP, meanwhile, has blamed PM Manmohan Singh and Montek Singh Ahluwalia for this. A BJP spokesperson said: “The economy is in doldrums and inflation is increasing day by day. Aam Aadmi doesn’t have the money to pay for challans or bribe traffic police anymore, so they have started following traffic rules. The PM must resign, taking moral responsibility for this incident.”

On the other hand, the head of the newly formed “yet to be named party,” Mr. Arvind Kejriwal, has assured that he will protest against this arrest on the Parliament Street. He has asked people to stop paying any traffic fines till transport minister C.P. Joshi submits his resignation.

Investigators are trying to ascertain if the detained man is the same guy who had switched off his mobile phone during a movie screening in a West Delhi multiplex.

Source: Faking News – Man detained for blindly following traffic rules in Delhi (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

2 thoughts on “Man detained for blindly following traffic rules in Delhi, India

  1. Loved the piece. It is satire at its best!

    Posted by Sapna | January 13, 2014, 22:09
  2. Oh, the horror! 😉

    Posted by swabby429 | January 14, 2014, 00:26

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