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Satire

English professor suddenly realises students will believe literally anything she says


Professor Elizabeth Mabrey

Professor Elizabeth Mabrey

Midway through her 9 a.m. Intro to American Literature course Thursday, University of Nebraska-Lincoln Professor Elizabeth Mabrey suddenly realised that her students would accept, without question, literally any words that came out of her mouth as absolute, incontrovertible fact, sources confirmed.

“I could say that On the Road was an overt metaphor for the Vietnam War and they would jot it down in their notebooks without any hesitation whatsoever,” said Mabrey, adding that, come midterms, her students will, as if on cue, mindlessly regurgitate whatever she tells them, whether it’s that the character of Dean Moriarty is supposed to be a figment of Sal Paradise’s imagination, or that the entire novel is meant to be read backwards.

“I could, honest to God, ask them to tear their copies of the novel in half because that’s what Kerouac ‘intended the reader to do,’ and they would do it. I mean, what are they going to do? Disagree with me?”

Professor Mabrey told reporters she has no plans to abuse her newly discovered power, though she would admittedly reconsider this position if denied tenure.

Source: The Onion – English Professor Suddenly Realizes Students Will Believe Literally Anything She Says (SATIRE)

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

8 thoughts on “English professor suddenly realises students will believe literally anything she says

  1. Reblogged this on humanitysdarkerside and commented:
    To any and all teachers/professors out there: Do you find yourself agreeing with the experiences of Prof. Mabrey?

    Posted by humanitysdarkerside | January 11, 2014, 22:58
  2. This Nebraskan is amused at your choice of Universities for the story. This is not far off the mark. 🙂

    Posted by swabby429 | January 11, 2014, 23:58

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  1. Pingback: Do ask questions…. | Neil's Commonplace Book - January 12, 2014

  2. Pingback: Unemployed, miserable man still remembers teacher who first made him fall in love with writing | Craig Hill - January 17, 2014

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