//
you're reading...
Satire

Dharma Initiative denies responsibility for missing Malaysian flight


Dharma Initiative involved in disappearance of missing Malaysia Airlines plane?

Dharma Initiative involved in disappearance of missing Malaysia Airlines plane?

The secretive scientific research organisation known as “The Dharma Initiative” has denied responsibility for the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

In a statement released today on the group’s website, Dharma‘s CEO Hugh McIntyre said that despite the similarities between this case and that of the infamous Oceanic Flight 815, the two incidents do not share a common cause.

“Given our track record, it is perhaps not surprising that people are pointing the finger at us,” the statement reads, “but this time it really wasn’t us. We are as confused about the disappearance of Flight MH 370 as the general public.

“Just because a Boeing 777 took off on a long-haul flight, changed course unexpectedly and wound up somewhere off the coast of Indonesia does NOT mean that we were involved.

“The Dharma Initiative has come a long way since the days when we lured international flights to deserted islands that cannot be seen by the outside world. Please stop calling us. Please stop emailing us. Please stop spamming our Twitter feed. We are NOT responsible for this disappearance.”

4  8  15  16  23  42

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing when it mysteriously disappeared without a trace last Saturday. Search and rescue teams have been combing the seas surrounding Malaysia for days and have yet to find a single piece of wreckage.

Today it was revealed that the plane made a drastic change to its flight path without informing ground controllers and was last seen on radar in the Malacca strait between Peninsular Malaysia and the Indonesian island of Sumatra.

The details of the case bring to mind Oceanic Flight 815, a Sydney to Los Angeles flight in which another 777 disappeared without a trace Sept. 22, 2004. Six passengers on that flight were eventually rescued off the Indonesia island of Membanta.

“From what I can tell there is no connection between our experience and the Malaysian flight,” says Hugo “Hurley” Reyes, a survivor of Oceanic Flight 815. “But it is very suspicious. If there’s one thing I learned on the island, it’s that the Dharma Initiative is capable of anything.”

A spokesperson for Malaysia’s Department of Civil Aviation says that Dharma is unlikely to be involved, but that “nothing has been ruled out” at this point in the investigation.

Editor’s note: “The Dharma Initiative” and “Oceanic Flight 815” were made famous in the TV show “Lost

Source: The Daily Currant – Dharma Initiative Denies Responsibility for Missing Malaysian Flight (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

One thought on “Dharma Initiative denies responsibility for missing Malaysian flight

  1. Interesting! Hope and pray that all 239 souls are alive and kicking, like most of them were on the reel LOST.

    Posted by Mahesh Nair | March 18, 2014, 22:49

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

If you liked what you just read, click "Subscribe" to become a follower of the Craig Hill site. You will receive an email each time a new post is published.

Join 14,942 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

  • So I made the short list for a job with Forbes-Wilcannia Catholic Care, but they want to know my age, religion & ma… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 hour ago
  • RT @docbaty: A quick note about the Nationals bargaining position around climate change, and that it’s possibly one of their strongest nego… 2 hours ago
  • RT @docbaty: Nobody at COP26 is going to care about whether or not Australia has a 2050 goal. They’ll be interested in what we’re doing tod… 5 hours ago
  • RT @CraigHill01: So the Nationals have backed @ScottMorrisonMP's plan for net-zero by 2050. Problem for Scott is, he doesn't actually have… 8 hours ago
  • So the Nationals have backed @ScottMorrisonMP's plan for net-zero by 2050. Problem for Scott is, he doesn't actually have a plan. #auspol 21 hours ago

Most Recent Posts Post on My Blog About China: China News

China’s trade practices come under fire

China’s trade practices come under fire

China’s trade policies have come under strong criticism during a review at the World Trade Organization (WTO). The US accused China of “skewing the playing field” by using “unfair trade practices” such as preferential treatment for state businesses. Meanwhile Australia said the country’s behaviour was “inconsistent” with its WTO commitments. China said it was committed […]

China’s economy weakens, then gets even worse and now there’s a global shipping crisis. What’s next?

China’s economy weakens, then gets even worse and now there’s a global shipping crisis. What’s next?

The world is waking up to the fact that maybe being dependent upon China for its goods is not such a good idea. In 2019 at about the same time the US was closing on the trade deals with China, COVID emerged in China. In 2019 China’s economy was also beginning to slow down. COVID […]

U.S. needs nuclear spacecraft to compete with China, NASA official tells Congress

U.S. needs nuclear spacecraft to compete with China, NASA official tells Congress

A NASA official told Congress on Wednesday that the United States needs more nuclear spacecrafts in order to compete with China. “Strategic competitors including China are aggressively investing in a wide range of space technologies, including nuclear power and propulsion,” Bhavya Lal, NASA’s senior advisor for budget and finance, told the House Science, Space, and […]

China shows off drones recycled from Soviet-era fighter jets

China shows off drones recycled from Soviet-era fighter jets

China has for the first time showed off retired 1950s era fighter jets that have been converted to unmanned drones, with satellite photos of two of its east coast bases near Taiwan showing a large number of the jets on site. The People’s Liberation Army’s Eastern Theater Command published the photos of two Shenyang J-6s […]

China’s propaganda machine is intensifying its ‘people’s war’ to catch American spies

China’s propaganda machine is intensifying its ‘people’s war’ to catch American spies

“Let’s fight a ‘people’s war’ against the spies, so that they cannot move a single step and have no place to hide!” That was the rallying cry of a Chinese military newspaper on social media over the weekend, as Beijing urges public vigilance against American espionage following the launch of a CIA mission center dedicated […]

China’s blackouts break power cutoff pledge

China’s blackouts break power cutoff pledge

As China struggles to control the latest surge of power shortages, the government seems to be hoping that the public will have short memories for how it has dealt with similar problems in the past. After months of downplaying the power crisis and recommending partial fixes, central government authorities belatedly acknowledged the spread of electricity […]

Cadence Column: Asia, October 18, 2021

Cadence Column: Asia, October 18, 2021

According to Chinese and US claims, China has a high-orbit, hypersonic missile that can hit a target within 24 miles. And, that’s why China is the new boss of the world and everyone else should hate America. The end. But, that’s not the end in the mind of Taiwan or the US Pentagon. This week, […]

China ‘making its nuclear submarines harder to detect’

China ‘making its nuclear submarines harder to detect’

China is upgrading its nuclear missile-equipped submarines to make them harder for rival powers such as the US to detect, reports suggest. The People’s Liberation Army Navy has redesigned its type 094 submarines to make them quieter, The South China Morning Post reports. Defence experts believe the Chinese 094 submarine can carry and launch the […]

Could China’s economy collapse?

Could China’s economy collapse?

For almost half a century, Chinese officials have overseen one of the greatest economic transformations in human history. The country has gone from collectivized farms and famine to world-leading tech companies and gleaming megacities connected by superfast trains. More than 800 million Chinese have been pulled out of poverty as the Communist Party and its leader […]

China’s economic crisis is much bigger than expected – its property market, the largest in the world, is collapsing

China’s economic crisis is much bigger than expected – its property market, the largest in the world, is collapsing

The situation in China is much worse than originally thought.  The largest property market in the world is set to collapse and the ramifications will impact the entire world.  We’ve been discussing China’s economic issues for years.  Recently this was even discussed with Steve Bannon on The War Room. We now have information that the […]

%d bloggers like this: