//
you're reading...
Satire

Dharma Initiative denies responsibility for missing Malaysian flight


Dharma Initiative involved in disappearance of missing Malaysia Airlines plane?

Dharma Initiative involved in disappearance of missing Malaysia Airlines plane?

The secretive scientific research organisation known as “The Dharma Initiative” has denied responsibility for the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

In a statement released today on the group’s website, Dharma‘s CEO Hugh McIntyre said that despite the similarities between this case and that of the infamous Oceanic Flight 815, the two incidents do not share a common cause.

“Given our track record, it is perhaps not surprising that people are pointing the finger at us,” the statement reads, “but this time it really wasn’t us. We are as confused about the disappearance of Flight MH 370 as the general public.

“Just because a Boeing 777 took off on a long-haul flight, changed course unexpectedly and wound up somewhere off the coast of Indonesia does NOT mean that we were involved.

“The Dharma Initiative has come a long way since the days when we lured international flights to deserted islands that cannot be seen by the outside world. Please stop calling us. Please stop emailing us. Please stop spamming our Twitter feed. We are NOT responsible for this disappearance.”

4  8  15  16  23  42

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing when it mysteriously disappeared without a trace last Saturday. Search and rescue teams have been combing the seas surrounding Malaysia for days and have yet to find a single piece of wreckage.

Today it was revealed that the plane made a drastic change to its flight path without informing ground controllers and was last seen on radar in the Malacca strait between Peninsular Malaysia and the Indonesian island of Sumatra.

The details of the case bring to mind Oceanic Flight 815, a Sydney to Los Angeles flight in which another 777 disappeared without a trace Sept. 22, 2004. Six passengers on that flight were eventually rescued off the Indonesia island of Membanta.

“From what I can tell there is no connection between our experience and the Malaysian flight,” says Hugo “Hurley” Reyes, a survivor of Oceanic Flight 815. “But it is very suspicious. If there’s one thing I learned on the island, it’s that the Dharma Initiative is capable of anything.”

A spokesperson for Malaysia’s Department of Civil Aviation says that Dharma is unlikely to be involved, but that “nothing has been ruled out” at this point in the investigation.

Editor’s note: “The Dharma Initiative” and “Oceanic Flight 815” were made famous in the TV show “Lost

Source: The Daily Currant – Dharma Initiative Denies Responsibility for Missing Malaysian Flight (SATIRE)
 

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

One thought on “Dharma Initiative denies responsibility for missing Malaysian flight

  1. Interesting! Hope and pray that all 239 souls are alive and kicking, like most of them were on the reel LOST.

    Posted by Mahesh Nair | March 18, 2014, 22:49

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

If you liked what you just read, click "Subscribe" to become a follower of the Craig Hill site. You will receive an email each time a new post is published.

Join 14,832 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

Most Recent Posts Post on My Blog About China: China News

China looking at expropriating foreign-held tech shares

Those foreigners who hold shares in Chinese tech companies are being warned that all is not well. It is China expert Gordon Chang who explained at Gatestone Institute, where he is a distinguished senior fellow and a member of the advisory board, that the nation controlled by a repressive Communist regime is “on the road […]

Cadence Column: Asia, July 26, 2021

Cadence Column: Asia, July 26, 2021

While a typhoon largely evaded Taiwan over the weekend, tragedy struck the mainland. Shanghai faced flooding and death while India suffered a landslide in the Himalayas. In a shocking video, one boulder took out a bridge. Several people died. But, speaking of Taiwan’s tendency to fall out of manure smelling like roses, there’s nothing like […]

On This Day In Australia: In 1950, Australia announced they would send troops to the Korean War

On This Day In Australia: In 1950, Australia announced they would send troops to the Korean War

Originally posted on Craig Hill:
Third Royal Australian Regiment Only five years after the end of the Second World War, Australia became involved in the Korean War. Personnel from the Royal Australian Navy (RAN), Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF), and the Australian Regular Army (ARA) were committed soon after the war began and would serve…

What have we learnt in the past century?

What have we learnt in the past century?

It is 100 years since we were supposedly getting over the war to end all wars, World War I, and forming the League of Nations with the purpose of preventing such a conflict and slaughter happening again. Regrettably, the only good that came out of it was the proposal to form the League of Nations; […]

China’s borders will likely remain shut for months, but some may be wary of visiting even after they reopen

China’s borders will likely remain shut for months, but some may be wary of visiting even after they reopen

Last week, the Biden administration warned American companies about the risk of doing business in Hong Kong, citing Beijing’s increasing crackdown on the city. “The bottom line is that businesses should be aware that the risks faced in mainland China are now increasingly present in Hong Kong,” White House press secretary Jen Psaki told reporters. […]

China Threatens to Nuke Japan in ‘Full Scale’ War if They Intervene in Taiwan

China Threatens to Nuke Japan in ‘Full Scale’ War if They Intervene in Taiwan

In an ominous new video that was circulated by the Communist Party of China, they vow to use nuclear bombs on Japan “continuously until it’s unconditional surrender” in an all out war if they decide to intervene in China’s planned re-taking of Taiwan.   “When we ‘liberate’ Taiwan, if Japan dares to intervene by force – […]

Afghanistan: No Peace Without a Clear Vision

Afghanistan: No Peace Without a Clear Vision

Peace is the absence of war, while war is the absence of peace! A negotiated peace in Afghanistan presents a number of challenges. The duration of the war over several decades has created a number of situations, that requires an in-depth examination in light of the peace negotiations that took place between the United States […]

US-China rivalry rooted in lost trust

US-China rivalry rooted in lost trust

As early as 2005 John Gersham and Melvin Goodman alerted against the trend of an over-militarized US foreign policy. The warning has been a recurrent theme of American debate, although it gained little traction. The debate recently spilled into mainstream media with The Economist averring that “an over-militarized foreign policy that embraces unrealistic objectives is liable to fail.” […]

Overnight News Headlines (Australia): July 20, 2021

Overnight News Headlines (Australia): July 20, 2021

Originally posted on Craig Hill:
Children account for 15 per cent of Australian farm deaths, says AgHealth study – 15 per cent of farm deaths are children under 14 years old, according to an AgHealth Australia study; A Ballarat farmer says she is shocked almost one in six … Australia’s first body image program for…

China in the News: July 20, 2021

China in the News: July 20, 2021

Ford unveils lower-priced Mustang Mach-E in China to qualify for subsidies – Previously, this was the only Mach-E priced low enough to qualify for China’s EV subsidies. It was joined by Extended Range RWD and AWD versions as well as the … NZ in ‘position of vulnerability’ over China hacking accusations – New Zealand has […]

%d bloggers like this: