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Craig Hill

General Manager at Craig Hill Training Services * Get an Australian diploma by studying in your own country * Get an Australian diploma using your overseas study and work experience * Diplomas can be used for work or study in Australia and other countries. * For more information go to www.craighill.net
Craig Hill has written 1522 posts for Craig Hill Training Services

North Korea wants to host Summer Olympics


Kim Jong Un, rotund ruler of North Korea, expressed a desire for North Korea to hold the next Summer Olympics when it is held in 2016. He was quickly informed that it had been decided years ago that it would be held in Rio de Janeiro in Brazil in 2016 and in Tokyo, Japan in … Continue reading

Thailand’s Prime Minister promises to disrobe if protesters desist


Thai Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra has ratcheted up her rhetoric in the face of growing criticism, vowing to perform a striptease for her nation’s people if protesters back down from calls for her resignation. “I have two very good reason why I should remain in office and I promise will show you both if you … Continue reading

Japan’s scientific research program yet to uncover why whales die when speared with a giant harpoon


After decades of research, Japanese scientists are no closer to discovering why whales suddenly die when tracked down, surrounded and then shot with an explosive-tipped harpoon. “It’s a phenomenon that’s baffled us to date,” said Hayato Takahashi, one of Japan’s chief whale scientists. “Every time we shoot a whale with a harpoon, it dies. That’s why … Continue reading

Court rules Obama kids’ bedtimes unconstitutional


In a case fraught with major parental implications, a federal appeals court has overturned the bedtimes for Malia and Sasha Obama as chosen by the president and first lady, calling them “unconstitutional” and “totally unfair.” “This decision is novel and unprecedented,” said White House press secretary Jay Carney. “It undermines not just Barack and Michelle‘s … Continue reading

Court orders Justin Bieber to stop making music


A court in Canada has ordered teen pop sensation Justin Bieber to stop making music for the next three years as restitution for a recent assault charge. In a plea deal with the prosecution today, 19-year-old Bieber agreed to refrain from touring or recording new material in exchange for keeping himself out of jail. The … Continue reading

Al Gore and Pope spar over origins of the Internet


Former Vice President Al Gore had some choice words for Pope Francis this week following the pontiff’s assertion that the Internet is a “gift from God,” saying that the Creator in which we’re all endowed had little to do with its development. “Now, I love Pope Francis with his flowy robes and his pointy hat, … Continue reading

Tony Blair just won’t go away


Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair is stubbornly refusing to let Britain move on. The grin-based organism has been asked to stop saying things in the press, which reminds Britain that it voted for him three times. Teacher Emma Bradford said: “When Kim Kardashian came along, Paris Hilton had the self-awareness to recognise that her … Continue reading

‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan found not guilty of shooting unarmed civilians


In a controversial ruling, no-nonsense cop ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan walked free from a federal court yesterday after a jury acquitted him of the ‘targeted hits’ of lowlife, good-for-nothing punks. The hard-bitten San Francisco detective was charged after it emerged that some of his victims may have been unarmed when he blew them away. Among the … Continue reading

President Obama says America is fed up with the spoiled brat antics of Justin Bieber so I am deporting him back to Canada


If President Obama gets his wish, little Justin Bieber will be sitting in his mom’s Canadian home by Valentine’s Day. The president has stated that he is sick and tired of getting thousands and thousands of complaints from good, hard-working, red-blooded Americans asking him to do something about the horrible attitude that Justin Bieber has … Continue reading

Russia hires Jack Bauer to safeguard Sochi Olympics


Russia‘s counterterrorism agency is reporting that former U.S. federal agent and fugitive from justice Jack Bauer has been picked to lead efforts to keep athletes and visitors safe during the upcoming Olympic Games in Sochi. They cited Bauer’s experience in thwarting a wide variety of terrorist plots in 24 hours or less as a contributing … Continue reading

Canada to release over 6,000 illegal aliens into North Dakota


The Canadian government has informed President Obama that they are getting ready to release 6,391 illegal aliens from the United States into North Dakota. A spokesperson for the Canadian government said that some of the illegal immigrants had been sitting in Canadian jails for as long as 9 years. A Minnesota individual who said his … Continue reading

Modern day American dream is an out of court settlement


Drawing on national polling data and extensive personal interviews, social scientists confirmed that the concept of the American Dream, the widely held aspiration among U.S. citizens of achieving financial security and personal happiness, now consists entirely of receiving a substantial out-of-court settlement. “Whereas achieving the American Dream once meant rising to a stable position of … Continue reading

Britain could miss out on crazy, pointless war with China, says important American


Cuts to Britain’s armed forces mean the country will be ‘left on the sidelines’ when America invades China. Robert Gates, former US defence secretary, stressed that Britain would no longer be America’s ‘full crazy partner in war’. He said: “Your military will be dropping food from its only helicopter while the US Marines are surging … Continue reading

Unemployed, miserable man still remembers teacher who first made him fall in love with writing


  Explaining that she introduced him to the literature that made him the man he is today, 41-year-old Casey Sheard, an unemployed and fundamentally miserable person, confirmed to reporters Tuesday that he still fondly remembers the high school teacher who first inspired him to fall in love with writing. “Mrs. Merriman was the one who … Continue reading

Man detained for blindly following traffic rules in Delhi, India


An unidentified 40-year-old male has been detained by Delhi police for suspicious behaviour after he was caught following all the traffic rules on the road in the national capital. This is the rarest of the rare behaviours witnessed on Delhi roads, authorities confirm. Addressing a press conference,  traffic inspector Mr. Hafta Ram gave a detailed account of … Continue reading

English professor suddenly realises students will believe literally anything she says


Midway through her 9 a.m. Intro to American Literature course Thursday, University of Nebraska-Lincoln Professor Elizabeth Mabrey suddenly realised that her students would accept, without question, literally any words that came out of her mouth as absolute, incontrovertible fact, sources confirmed. “I could say that On the Road was an overt metaphor for the Vietnam … Continue reading

Japan to launch unarmed practice missile towards North Korea


The Saki News Agency is reporting that the government of Japan has decided to give North Korean leader Kim Jong Un a bit of his own medicine. Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe stated that his country will be launching what it calls an unarmed practice missile toward North Korea. The missile is a standard, universal type … Continue reading

Wikipedia founder discovered rolling around in millions of facts at mansion


Wikipedia’s creator Jimmy Wales was under police guard in hospital today after being discovered naked and “laughing hysterically” in millions of facts printed from his website. Police were called to the 47-year-old’s London home only after one of 200 printers jammed and caught fire, sending plumes of black smoke into the skies. Officers broke into … Continue reading

Justin Bieber may buy land In Colorado and become a pot farmer


Justin Bieber recently announced that he was retiring from the music business. The iRumors News Agency is now reporting that the Canadian singer is considering purchasing some land in the marijuana haven state of Colorado and becoming a pot farmer. Bieber spoke with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors and said that he figures that by being … Continue reading

Playboy asks Denmark’s Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt to appear in a nude layout


Playboy Corporation mogul Hugh Hefner has offered the stunning blonde prime minister of Denmark, Helle Thorning-Schmidt $1.8 million to appear in a nude layout in his magazine. Hefner spoke with reporters and stated that he knows that the issue would be one of the biggest sellers in the publication’s history. The Playboy head stated that … Continue reading

Pope Francis expands Vatican drone program


Pope Francis has ordered a major expansion of the Vatican’s controversial drone program, calling it necessary to protect the church. “The Vatican has many enemies around the world, and we must take the necessary steps to defend the church and ourselves,” Pope Francis said in an official statement. “Unmanned drones are the most effective way … Continue reading

Syria war combatants to be shut out of Australia


Australian citizens who fight in the Syrian civil war may be shut out of the country, after Immigration Minister Scott Morrison flagged a renewed push to prevent them returning home. Mr Morrison yesterday said an influx of rebel and pro-government militants from the Middle East could “disrupt the significant social cohesion we have in this … Continue reading

Australia investigates corruption in Great Barrier Reef protection agency


Environment Minister Greg Hunt has ordered an “immediate” inquiry into the agency charged with protecting the Great Barrier Reef, after revelations that board members held interests in companies that could benefit from expanding coal and gas production near the reef. The revelations come as the Great Barrier Reef faces growing threats to its existence. Massive … Continue reading

China’s land grab in Australia hidden by “corporate veil”


Chinese investors may own less than 1 per cent of Australian farmland, but the true level is not known because it is hidden behind a corporate veil, according to a new report that offers support to the establishment of a formal register of foreign land ownership in Australia. A joint report by accountants KPMG and … Continue reading

Australia abandons Asian Century from foreign policy


The centrepiece of the Gillard government’s foreign affairs strategy – the Australia in the Asian Century white paper – has been largely jettisoned by the Abbott government. Craig Emerson, who as a senior Labor minister was responsible for the white paper’s implementation, said yesterday that he was surprised and disappointed the document and all its … Continue reading

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