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Fucking Austria


British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly named village.

While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking are failing to see the funny side.

Only one kind of criminal ever stalks the sleepy 32 house village near Salzburg on the German border – cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humour and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back and with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

“We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed,” the officer said.

“It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile.”

Local tourist guide Andreas Rehmueller said it was only the British that had an obsession with Fucking.

“The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg,” he explained.

“Every American seems to care only about The Sound of Music (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg).

“The occasional Japanese wants to see Hitler’s birthplace in Braunau.

“But for the British, it’s all about Fucking.”

Guesthouse manager Augustina Lindlbauer described the village’s breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas.

“Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking,” she said.

“Just this morning I had to tell an English lady who stopped by that there were no Fucking postcards.”

The name is pronounced “Fooking” which really doesn’t change the whole concept of the story.  However, on a serious side, there is a little history of the town, and some of the finer points about scenery, which were already touched on in the newspaper story.

Fucking is named after a man named Foker, in the 6th century. The name Fucking came into place sometime before 1070.  The “ing” at the end is a common German suffix meaning “place of…people”, so Fucking literally means “place of (Focko’s) people”.  It has 32 houses, and an official population of 104.

It’s most famous tourist attraction is it’s roadside sign, which tourists love having their photo taken next to.  One such sign has a motor traffic sign below it, saying “Please go slow”, which many tourists find even more amusing.

However, the theft of such signs has put a severe financial burden on the tiny Fucking budget. This has been alleviated to a large extent by putting the signs in the ground with reinforced concrete, and using bigger screws.

The town also has several Fucking Roads, which often leads to confusion, with residents asking each other “Which Fucking Road do you live on?”

One problem facing many Fucking people is the fact that some British tourists get confused about the location of the village, and refer to Fucking, Australia. At least, it is hoped this is simply a geographical reference…

A few questions are raised quite often about the town:

– Are the residents called Fuckers?

– What are the mothers called?

– What would you be learning at the Fucking High School?

– Does the Fucking Hospital help you with anything else?

– If you had a friend that came from there, would he be your Fucking friend?

Just to prove it’s true, the original story and a map are reproduced below.

And, of course, when you’ve had enough of Fucking, you can always visit Condom, France.  But that’s a story for another day.

About Craig Hill

General Manager at Craig Hill Training Services * Get an Australian diploma by studying in your own country * Get an Australian diploma using your overseas study and work experience * Diplomas can be used for work or study in Australia and other countries. * For more information go to www.craighill.net

Discussion

3 thoughts on “Fucking Austria

  1. This Was Good i even posted it to my facebook. Everyone like it. Now we have more follower coming in. Thanks again Will

    Posted by yellowjac | March 6, 2012, 04:16
  2. Funny post
    😉

    Posted by jennysserendipity | April 6, 2012, 12:57

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