//
you're reading...
News and Features

Only In America


While living in America, I made the following observations, which I found quite curious:

  • Pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • There are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
  • Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • People order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put their useless junk in the garage.
  • People use answering machines to screen calls, and then have call waiting so they won’t miss a call from someone they didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  • People buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • The word “politics” describes the process so well: “Poli” in Latin means “many” and “tics” are “bloodsucking creatures.”
  • There are actually drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

9 thoughts on “Only In America

  1. Brilliant …. but I think America is far from being alone !!!!

    Posted by viveka | March 8, 2012, 23:50
  2. Now THAT was funny. You drilled down into our psyche with little trouble. I bet most of those idiosynchrosies are the result of some lawyer filing a “class action suit” – – – another one of our idiosnchrosies. Thanks for your great observations.

    Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 00:06
    • Has America worked out how to deal with the lawyer problem yet? 🙂

      Posted by Craig Hill | March 9, 2012, 00:39
      • NO! We just keep on pumping them out of college like gumballs out of a machine. Then there is no work so they start inventing it. And that is how we are NOT dealing with it. (Plus I don’t think they teach ETHICS as a required subject any longer)

        Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 03:44
  3. Here’s one to add to your list: In the Wisconsin State Legislature Building cameras are banned whereas carrying a concealed weapon is expressly allowed!

    Posted by RxHealthCoach | March 9, 2012, 01:30
  4. Ahhhh, there he goes again! I am just gonna do a copy & paste on you —
    Wo shi Meiguo ren. Shame on you. Devious, clever, and hilarious! LOL 🙂

    Posted by mulrickillion | March 9, 2012, 02:14
  5. They do more than skate at skating rinks, and disabled people do go to watch the games that their family members or friends are playing. Full handicap access to each and every business or establishment is law here…

    Posted by Marc Phillippe Babineau | March 9, 2012, 02:33
  6. I love the last one about the braille at the drive up ATM, the sad thing about it, it’s required by law to everything ADA accessible. ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

    I also hate the idea of 10 hot dogs and 8 buns, that means you have to buy 4 hot dog packages and 5 packs of hot dog buns to make it even. What i hate about it, I am single and live alone, and eight is too many buns for me, i would love to see a package of 4 hot dog buns, and half of them will not go to waste.

    Posted by savageindian | March 9, 2012, 04:52
  7. An American here…all so true of us. Yes, the hot dog bun issue! What about a whole food section for people who live and eat alone a lot? Some capitalist can surely invent groceries and grocery stores for singles!

    Posted by Brook | March 9, 2012, 05:45

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

If you liked what you just read, click "Subscribe" to become a follower of the Craig Hill site. You will receive an email each time a new post is published.

Join 14,942 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

Most Recent Posts Post on My Blog About China: China News

China’s trade practices come under fire

China’s trade practices come under fire

China’s trade policies have come under strong criticism during a review at the World Trade Organization (WTO). The US accused China of “skewing the playing field” by using “unfair trade practices” such as preferential treatment for state businesses. Meanwhile Australia said the country’s behaviour was “inconsistent” with its WTO commitments. China said it was committed […]

China’s economy weakens, then gets even worse and now there’s a global shipping crisis. What’s next?

China’s economy weakens, then gets even worse and now there’s a global shipping crisis. What’s next?

The world is waking up to the fact that maybe being dependent upon China for its goods is not such a good idea. In 2019 at about the same time the US was closing on the trade deals with China, COVID emerged in China. In 2019 China’s economy was also beginning to slow down. COVID […]

U.S. needs nuclear spacecraft to compete with China, NASA official tells Congress

U.S. needs nuclear spacecraft to compete with China, NASA official tells Congress

A NASA official told Congress on Wednesday that the United States needs more nuclear spacecrafts in order to compete with China. “Strategic competitors including China are aggressively investing in a wide range of space technologies, including nuclear power and propulsion,” Bhavya Lal, NASA’s senior advisor for budget and finance, told the House Science, Space, and […]

China shows off drones recycled from Soviet-era fighter jets

China shows off drones recycled from Soviet-era fighter jets

China has for the first time showed off retired 1950s era fighter jets that have been converted to unmanned drones, with satellite photos of two of its east coast bases near Taiwan showing a large number of the jets on site. The People’s Liberation Army’s Eastern Theater Command published the photos of two Shenyang J-6s […]

China’s propaganda machine is intensifying its ‘people’s war’ to catch American spies

China’s propaganda machine is intensifying its ‘people’s war’ to catch American spies

“Let’s fight a ‘people’s war’ against the spies, so that they cannot move a single step and have no place to hide!” That was the rallying cry of a Chinese military newspaper on social media over the weekend, as Beijing urges public vigilance against American espionage following the launch of a CIA mission center dedicated […]

China’s blackouts break power cutoff pledge

China’s blackouts break power cutoff pledge

As China struggles to control the latest surge of power shortages, the government seems to be hoping that the public will have short memories for how it has dealt with similar problems in the past. After months of downplaying the power crisis and recommending partial fixes, central government authorities belatedly acknowledged the spread of electricity […]

Cadence Column: Asia, October 18, 2021

Cadence Column: Asia, October 18, 2021

According to Chinese and US claims, China has a high-orbit, hypersonic missile that can hit a target within 24 miles. And, that’s why China is the new boss of the world and everyone else should hate America. The end. But, that’s not the end in the mind of Taiwan or the US Pentagon. This week, […]

China ‘making its nuclear submarines harder to detect’

China ‘making its nuclear submarines harder to detect’

China is upgrading its nuclear missile-equipped submarines to make them harder for rival powers such as the US to detect, reports suggest. The People’s Liberation Army Navy has redesigned its type 094 submarines to make them quieter, The South China Morning Post reports. Defence experts believe the Chinese 094 submarine can carry and launch the […]

Could China’s economy collapse?

Could China’s economy collapse?

For almost half a century, Chinese officials have overseen one of the greatest economic transformations in human history. The country has gone from collectivized farms and famine to world-leading tech companies and gleaming megacities connected by superfast trains. More than 800 million Chinese have been pulled out of poverty as the Communist Party and its leader […]

China’s economic crisis is much bigger than expected – its property market, the largest in the world, is collapsing

China’s economic crisis is much bigger than expected – its property market, the largest in the world, is collapsing

The situation in China is much worse than originally thought.  The largest property market in the world is set to collapse and the ramifications will impact the entire world.  We’ve been discussing China’s economic issues for years.  Recently this was even discussed with Steve Bannon on The War Room. We now have information that the […]

%d bloggers like this: