//
you're reading...
News and Features

Only In America


While living in America, I made the following observations, which I found quite curious:

  • Pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • There are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
  • Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • People order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put their useless junk in the garage.
  • People use answering machines to screen calls, and then have call waiting so they won’t miss a call from someone they didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  • People buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • The word “politics” describes the process so well: “Poli” in Latin means “many” and “tics” are “bloodsucking creatures.”
  • There are actually drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

9 thoughts on “Only In America

  1. Brilliant …. but I think America is far from being alone !!!!

    Posted by viveka | March 8, 2012, 23:50
  2. Now THAT was funny. You drilled down into our psyche with little trouble. I bet most of those idiosynchrosies are the result of some lawyer filing a “class action suit” – – – another one of our idiosnchrosies. Thanks for your great observations.

    Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 00:06
    • Has America worked out how to deal with the lawyer problem yet? 🙂

      Posted by Craig Hill | March 9, 2012, 00:39
      • NO! We just keep on pumping them out of college like gumballs out of a machine. Then there is no work so they start inventing it. And that is how we are NOT dealing with it. (Plus I don’t think they teach ETHICS as a required subject any longer)

        Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 03:44
  3. Here’s one to add to your list: In the Wisconsin State Legislature Building cameras are banned whereas carrying a concealed weapon is expressly allowed!

    Posted by RxHealthCoach | March 9, 2012, 01:30
  4. Ahhhh, there he goes again! I am just gonna do a copy & paste on you —
    Wo shi Meiguo ren. Shame on you. Devious, clever, and hilarious! LOL 🙂

    Posted by mulrickillion | March 9, 2012, 02:14
  5. They do more than skate at skating rinks, and disabled people do go to watch the games that their family members or friends are playing. Full handicap access to each and every business or establishment is law here…

    Posted by Marc Phillippe Babineau | March 9, 2012, 02:33
  6. I love the last one about the braille at the drive up ATM, the sad thing about it, it’s required by law to everything ADA accessible. ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

    I also hate the idea of 10 hot dogs and 8 buns, that means you have to buy 4 hot dog packages and 5 packs of hot dog buns to make it even. What i hate about it, I am single and live alone, and eight is too many buns for me, i would love to see a package of 4 hot dog buns, and half of them will not go to waste.

    Posted by savageindian | March 9, 2012, 04:52
  7. An American here…all so true of us. Yes, the hot dog bun issue! What about a whole food section for people who live and eat alone a lot? Some capitalist can surely invent groceries and grocery stores for singles!

    Posted by Brook | March 9, 2012, 05:45

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

If you liked what you just read, click "Subscribe" to become a follower of the Craig Hill site. You will receive an email each time a new post is published.

Join 14,836 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

Most Recent Posts Post on My Blog About China: China News

China decides to engage with Afghanistan’s Taliban to further persecute Uyghurs

China decides to engage with Afghanistan’s Taliban to further persecute Uyghurs

With the United States withdrawing and the Taliban having swept to control of about half of Afghanistan, few observers give the Afghan government much chance of survival. September may be a decisive month, when the withdrawal is complete and American air operations against Taliban positions end. That is the background to Foreign Minister Wang Yi’s […]

Cadence Column: Asia, August 2, 2021

Cadence Column: Asia, August 2, 2021

British aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth is trudging through China’s backyard. Chinese government news “Global Times” describes Britain as trying to relive its old days. China was never happy about getting its ass whipped twice in the Opium Wars, which China provoked with its economic philosophy that “sliver-in, tealeaves-out” was sustainable trade. China, now with […]

Attacks on foreign journalists in China cast shadow over Beijing’s upcoming Olympics

Attacks on foreign journalists in China cast shadow over Beijing’s upcoming Olympics

After promises during the 2008 Olympics, “[f]ew could have imagined the CCP stooping to the level of running campaigns against individual news reporters and outlets, resulting in harassment and death threats against foreign reporters,” writes William Nee. On July 20, in the central plains of Henan province, one of China’s most important regional cities, Zhengzhou, […]

Tibet and China clash over next reincarnation of the Dalai Lama

Tibet and China clash over next reincarnation of the Dalai Lama

A couple of years ago, during a meeting of Tibetan leaders in Dharamshala in India, Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, was asked about his reincarnation. Addressing the room of monks, religious teachers and Tibetan politicians, the Dalai Lama asked them to look into his eyes. “Do you think it’s time now?” he asked. It […]

China orders one member of each Tibetan family to enlist in the military to fight against India

China orders one member of each Tibetan family to enlist in the military to fight against India

China has been hatching several conspiracies since its defeat on the eastern Ladakh border against India last year. Considering the fact that Tibetan youth can play a vital role in fighting India in the Himalayan mountains on the borders of eastern Ladakh to Arunachal Pradesh, China has made it mandatory for one member of every […]

China warns UK as carrier strike group approaches South China Sea

China warns UK as carrier strike group approaches South China Sea

China has warned the UK’s Carrier Strike Group, led by the aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth not to carry out any “improper acts” as it enters the contested South China Sea. ‘The People’s Liberation Army Navy is at a high state of combat readiness’ says the pro-government Global Times, seen as a mouthpiece for the […]

China Has Reportedly Launched a Little Baby Version of the US X-37B Spaceplane

China Has Reportedly Launched a Little Baby Version of the US X-37B Spaceplane

A Chinese aerospace manufacturer hailed a successful test flight of a new spaceplane that will broaden China’s reusable spaceflight capabilities. The unnamed craft reportedly takes off like a rocket and lands like an airplane, much like the U.S. Air Force’s X-37B (pictured above), but can’t go all the way into orbit like the American spaceplane […]

China Discovers the Limits of Its Power

China Discovers the Limits of Its Power

Beijing’s confrontation with Australia should have been an unequal contest. That’s not how it worked out in practice. “Chewing gum stuck on the sole of China’s shoes.” That’s how Hu Xijin, the editor of the Chinese Communist Party–run Global Times, described Australia last year. The disparaging description is typical of the disdain that China’s diplomats […]

China looking at expropriating foreign-held tech shares

Those foreigners who hold shares in Chinese tech companies are being warned that all is not well. It is China expert Gordon Chang who explained at Gatestone Institute, where he is a distinguished senior fellow and a member of the advisory board, that the nation controlled by a repressive Communist regime is “on the road […]

Cadence Column: Asia, July 26, 2021

Cadence Column: Asia, July 26, 2021

While a typhoon largely evaded Taiwan over the weekend, tragedy struck the mainland. Shanghai faced flooding and death while India suffered a landslide in the Himalayas. In a shocking video, one boulder took out a bridge. Several people died. But, speaking of Taiwan’s tendency to fall out of manure smelling like roses, there’s nothing like […]

%d bloggers like this: