//
you're reading...
News and Features

Only In America


While living in America, I made the following observations, which I found quite curious:

  • Pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • There are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
  • Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • People order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put their useless junk in the garage.
  • People use answering machines to screen calls, and then have call waiting so they won’t miss a call from someone they didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  • People buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • The word “politics” describes the process so well: “Poli” in Latin means “many” and “tics” are “bloodsucking creatures.”
  • There are actually drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.

Discussion

9 thoughts on “Only In America

  1. Brilliant …. but I think America is far from being alone !!!!

    Posted by viveka | March 8, 2012, 23:50
  2. Now THAT was funny. You drilled down into our psyche with little trouble. I bet most of those idiosynchrosies are the result of some lawyer filing a “class action suit” – – – another one of our idiosnchrosies. Thanks for your great observations.

    Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 00:06
    • Has America worked out how to deal with the lawyer problem yet? 🙂

      Posted by Craig Hill | March 9, 2012, 00:39
      • NO! We just keep on pumping them out of college like gumballs out of a machine. Then there is no work so they start inventing it. And that is how we are NOT dealing with it. (Plus I don’t think they teach ETHICS as a required subject any longer)

        Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 03:44
  3. Here’s one to add to your list: In the Wisconsin State Legislature Building cameras are banned whereas carrying a concealed weapon is expressly allowed!

    Posted by RxHealthCoach | March 9, 2012, 01:30
  4. Ahhhh, there he goes again! I am just gonna do a copy & paste on you —
    Wo shi Meiguo ren. Shame on you. Devious, clever, and hilarious! LOL 🙂

    Posted by mulrickillion | March 9, 2012, 02:14
  5. They do more than skate at skating rinks, and disabled people do go to watch the games that their family members or friends are playing. Full handicap access to each and every business or establishment is law here…

    Posted by Marc Phillippe Babineau | March 9, 2012, 02:33
  6. I love the last one about the braille at the drive up ATM, the sad thing about it, it’s required by law to everything ADA accessible. ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

    I also hate the idea of 10 hot dogs and 8 buns, that means you have to buy 4 hot dog packages and 5 packs of hot dog buns to make it even. What i hate about it, I am single and live alone, and eight is too many buns for me, i would love to see a package of 4 hot dog buns, and half of them will not go to waste.

    Posted by savageindian | March 9, 2012, 04:52
  7. An American here…all so true of us. Yes, the hot dog bun issue! What about a whole food section for people who live and eat alone a lot? Some capitalist can surely invent groceries and grocery stores for singles!

    Posted by Brook | March 9, 2012, 05:45

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

If you liked what you just read, click "Subscribe" to become a follower of the Craig Hill site. You will receive an email each time a new post is published.

Join 17,664 other followers

An archive of all my old posts

Follow me on Twitter

Most Recent Posts Post on My Blog About China: China News

When Beijing was burning, Xi was playing personal games 

When Beijing was burning, Xi was playing personal games 

A great fire destroyed Rome for six days in the summer of AD 64. Famous Roman historian of that time, Tacitus, recorded that 70 percent of the city was destroyed and half of the city’s residents were displaced. Roman ruler Nero was accused of being indifferent, ineffective, and careless. The end result of this neglect […]

China would re-educate Taiwan in event of reunification

China would re-educate Taiwan in event of reunification

Once China achieves its professed goal of establishing control over Taiwan, a process of “re-education” of the island’s population would follow, according to China’s Ambassador to France Lu Shaye. The ambassador was speaking on French television channel BFM TV on Wednesday night, when he said a majority of the Taiwanese population actually wanted to be […]

Sri Lanka’s economic crisis is a political sabotage

Sri Lanka’s economic crisis is a political sabotage

Sri Lanka’s present state confirms the famous statement: “Insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.” Sri Lankans have been repeating the mistakes of choosing the politicians Rajapaksas again and again. It is confirmed that there were unaccounted payments that the Chinese were liberal with during project negotiations with the island nation. They were paid […]

<strong>China’s military drills around Taiwan drive foreign firms to draw up exit plans for staff and assets</strong>

<strong>China’s military drills around Taiwan drive foreign firms to draw up exit plans for staff and assets</strong>

China’s military drills around Taiwan have led some foreign companies on the island to draw up contingency plans in case there is an attack. Photo: Reuters (image omitted) Multinational businesses in Taiwan are laying plans to evacuate assets and personnel in case mainland China attacks the island. While no one is fixing to leave, analysts […]

Chinese aircraft, ships and drones circle Taiwan on final day of military drills

Chinese aircraft, ships and drones circle Taiwan on final day of military drills

The Chinese military continued joint air-naval exercises on Sunday, simulating attacks on Taiwan, the Taiwanese defense ministry said as China announced new drills north of the island in the Yellow Sea. It was the last day of drills held as an angry response to U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s visit to the island. At the […]

What may be China’s response to Pelosi’s Taiwan visit

What may be China’s response to Pelosi’s Taiwan visit

Nikkei Asia describes US military deployment for possible military response to China’s response to Pelosi’s Taiwan visit in its report “U.S. deploys ships and planes near Taiwan as Pelosi eyes visit” yesterday. However, China is not fully prepared for taking Taiwan by force now, especially a war with the US due to its military takeover […]

A Quad of a new kind: Tech Quad   

A Quad of a new kind: Tech Quad   

Machines, big and small, all rely on one component, semiconductor. Be it computers, telecommunications, household appliances, banking, security, healthcare, transportation, manufacturing, and last but not least, war-making machinery, all depend upon semiconductors. So, it won’t be unreasonable to say that the country that controls the semiconductors controls the future. Do you know, just like Rare […]

Taiwan’s aircraft and warships stage five-day live-fire exercise

Taiwan’s aircraft and warships stage five-day live-fire exercise

The Taiwanese military kicked off a five-day annual live-fire exercise on Monday aimed at bolstering the island’s defense capabilities and combat readiness at a time when China and Taiwan’s allies have been facing off in the airspace and seas around the island. The Han Kuang drills will be taking place at a number of locations […]

China plundered, India blundered and Sri Lanka surrendered  

China plundered, India blundered and Sri Lanka surrendered  

On Wednesday, Ranil Wickremesinghe, present acting President, was voted in as the next President of Sri Lanka by the Sri Lankan parliamentarians. Some people are prematurely hailing new President Ranil Wickremasinghe as P V Narasimha Rao of Sri Lanka, who steered India through 1991’s economic crisis towards economic stability. Would Ranil Wickremesinghe — a record six-time […]

India gains on China in crisis-hit Sri Lanka

India gains on China in crisis-hit Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka’s pre-emptive default on its foreign debt obligations in mid-April 2022 and recently resigned president Gotabaya Rajapaksa’s flight from Sri Lanka on 12 July provides India with an opportunity to match China in the foreign aid game. The Indian government held an all-party meeting on the Sri Lankan crisis on July 19 and new President Ranil […]

%d bloggers like this: