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Only In America

While living in America, I made the following observations, which I found quite curious:

  • Pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • There are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
  • Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • People order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Banks leave safe doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • People leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put their useless junk in the garage.
  • People use answering machines to screen calls, and then have call waiting so they won’t miss a call from someone they didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  • People buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • The word “politics” describes the process so well: “Poli” in Latin means “many” and “tics” are “bloodsucking creatures.”
  • There are actually drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

About Craig Hill

Teacher and Writer. Writing has been cited in New York Times, BBC, Fox News, Aljazeera, Philippines Star, South China Morning Post, National Interest, news.com.au, Wikipedia and others.


9 thoughts on “Only In America

  1. Brilliant …. but I think America is far from being alone !!!!

    Posted by viveka | March 8, 2012, 23:50
  2. Now THAT was funny. You drilled down into our psyche with little trouble. I bet most of those idiosynchrosies are the result of some lawyer filing a “class action suit” – – – another one of our idiosnchrosies. Thanks for your great observations.

    Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 00:06
    • Has America worked out how to deal with the lawyer problem yet? 🙂

      Posted by Craig Hill | March 9, 2012, 00:39
      • NO! We just keep on pumping them out of college like gumballs out of a machine. Then there is no work so they start inventing it. And that is how we are NOT dealing with it. (Plus I don’t think they teach ETHICS as a required subject any longer)

        Posted by Waldo "Wally" Tomosky | March 9, 2012, 03:44
  3. Here’s one to add to your list: In the Wisconsin State Legislature Building cameras are banned whereas carrying a concealed weapon is expressly allowed!

    Posted by RxHealthCoach | March 9, 2012, 01:30
  4. Ahhhh, there he goes again! I am just gonna do a copy & paste on you —
    Wo shi Meiguo ren. Shame on you. Devious, clever, and hilarious! LOL 🙂

    Posted by mulrickillion | March 9, 2012, 02:14
  5. They do more than skate at skating rinks, and disabled people do go to watch the games that their family members or friends are playing. Full handicap access to each and every business or establishment is law here…

    Posted by Marc Phillippe Babineau | March 9, 2012, 02:33
  6. I love the last one about the braille at the drive up ATM, the sad thing about it, it’s required by law to everything ADA accessible. ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act).

    I also hate the idea of 10 hot dogs and 8 buns, that means you have to buy 4 hot dog packages and 5 packs of hot dog buns to make it even. What i hate about it, I am single and live alone, and eight is too many buns for me, i would love to see a package of 4 hot dog buns, and half of them will not go to waste.

    Posted by savageindian | March 9, 2012, 04:52
  7. An American here…all so true of us. Yes, the hot dog bun issue! What about a whole food section for people who live and eat alone a lot? Some capitalist can surely invent groceries and grocery stores for singles!

    Posted by Brook | March 9, 2012, 05:45

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