Every morning, I wake up, and have a shower. I use scented shampoo and scented conditioner to make my hair smell nice. I use scented soap and scented body wash to make me smell nice all over.
Then I use a scented deodorant to keep me smelling nice all day. I also use a scented talcum powder for the parts of my body that sweat a lot and get sticky during the day. I shave with a scented shaving foam, and then use a scented aftershave to make my face smell nice.
I brush my teeth with a nice flavoured toothpaste, floss with a flavoured dental floss, and gargle with a strong flavoured mouthwash. This will keep my breath smelling nice all day, along with my nicely scented breath freshener.
Then I go back to my bedroom, which is kept smelling nice by a nicely scented room freshener. Just like my bathroom and kitchen, and all my other rooms.
I get dressed in my clothes, which have been washed with a nicely scented laundry detergent and equally nicely scented fabric softener. The clothes have been hanging in the wardrobe, which is kept smelling fresh with a special closet freshener I bought at the supermarket.
I put on my shoes, which have a special foot odour freshener inside them. I go out to my car, which has a special car freshener, shaped liked a pine tree, hanging from the rear vision mirror.
As I drive to the railway station, I light up a cigarette. And all the nice smelling, expensive perfumes and deodorants I have used are instantly banished to the foul smelling and obnoxious odour of the cigarette.
Makes no sense, really…
Rather funny and all too true! Been there, done that, all too many times…
Posted by Marc Phillippe Babineau | March 5, 2012, 12:21I have come to a happy medium. I smoke only when I go to the bar, which isn’t that often any more.
Beer and cigarettes seems to go together, like meat pies and tomato sauce…
Posted by Craig Hill | March 5, 2012, 12:24Lucky man – we can’t even smoke in a bar’s outdoors patio!!!
Posted by Marc Phillippe Babineau | March 5, 2012, 12:26Many bars in Australia have outdoor smoking areas. We had problems with people smoking in the street, when they brought in no-smoking in office buildings. The cigarette butts were blocking up the storm water drains, so in some places, I believe smoking was also banned outside.
Posted by Craig Hill | March 7, 2012, 09:48Clever post. Did it make you consider giving up?! 🙂
Posted by a BUMP to the HEAD | March 5, 2012, 12:24As stated in a previous reply, I gave up sort of. I decided to stop because of the smell (straight after writing this article).
I actually didn’t, and still don’t, have any cravings or miss it in any way. I still smoke on the odd occasions I have a beer, when I smoke not because I have to, but because I enjoy a cigarette with my beer.
Posted by Craig Hill | March 5, 2012, 12:31I kept wondering where you were going with this. Clever.
Posted by Mona | March 5, 2012, 12:51But… it is a pleasure 🙂
Posted by Dugutigui | March 5, 2012, 13:17*smile Very good … and so true – ever smoked myself, but my mum has – she stopped when she was 87 – after 65 years of smoking. Just out the blue she stopped. She told me that it’s all up in the head. Personal I don’t understand who something that so many says taste good – can smell so bad. Thanks for a great post!
Posted by viveka | March 5, 2012, 17:51